good ways to start emails

--hello beneficiary --ATTENTION:HONORABLE BENEFICIARY. --Dear Friend, --Greeting's to you and your entire family! (note the apostrophe) --I know you must be surprised to hear from me. --CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE WON --From the Desk of________ I mean any email coming from an African Banker is one I am sure to respond to. Also, any email that starts talking about my penis immediately. I mean what better way to get someone's attention? Bill Gates emails me a lot. So does Al Gore, though those might actually be from Al Gore. On the internet there are a lot of people who have money who want to share it with me. I have not found this to be true in my day to day life thus far. Why is the internet so different from real life? It's a mystery.